watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
