I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
