I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
