found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my poor anus
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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