Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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