Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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