So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I party with great urgency now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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