Need sex. Gaining weight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you had me at cake vodka
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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