i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
