My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
