we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
