so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
