i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have aggressive nipples.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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