somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
