i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
