My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
