They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
