real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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