dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
