apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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