Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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