Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
