I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
