She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
