omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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