So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
