I need help removing her.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
