Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
