3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
