just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I need to align my fucking chakras
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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