Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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