I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
