You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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