did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
