her vagine was all disorganized.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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