he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
ok first of all what the fuck
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
