Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
