Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
