I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
