For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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