We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
