I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
