I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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