Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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