Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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