Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
