pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
