either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so that wasnt chicken after all
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
high people should be assigned attendants
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
