Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
