I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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