oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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