I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
