i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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