This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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